MEAT MARKET
By Raymond Knowby
Low budget Canadian indie director Brian Clement makes a shot-on-video zombie apocalypse. Seekers of the non-Hollywood underground may find a frame or two to like here–particularly the first fifteen minutes, where we see urban skirmishes with the flesh eating creatures (a long tracking shot with explosives and frantic action is very well done for this scale of production). It’s the next dragging hour that really goes off into the absurd zone.
Sharoak (Paul Pedrosa) and Argenta (Clair Westby) are two ex-employees of a biochemical company that find themselves up to their teeth in zombies as a mutagen outbreak turns their city into living hell. Armed with six shooters and semi-automatics, they wade through the denizes of the deceased in an attempt to find suvivors to hole up with until the plague expires. Joining them along the way are three lesbian Vampires (with laser guns, no less) and a burned out Mexican masked ex-wrestler named El Diablo. Gore effects and nudity ensue in the continually poorly lit action sequences.
Acting-wise, the zombies outdo the cast. Not one good performer in the bunch, but with lines like “no time to think–time to run!” and “don’t shoot–we’re not the walking dead!” a solid ensemble of thespians would have trouble playing it with a straight face. The story is ridiculous (mind controlled…cannibal…cyborgs?) and gets steadfastly worse until the climax, if you’re still awake by then. That’s the real problem here, with no narrative structure and rather flat direction the movie just goes on and on, trying to pad time for a ninety minute exploitation slot. Nothing stands out as inventive or original.
A sequel, reportedly made for less but said to be a much better ride, may be best to skip right ahead to.
Local law enforcement tries to stop the marauding ghouls in MEAT MARKET.